23 Months.....

Somehow it is the 1st…again! Happy 23 months in Heaven little one! I’m really not sure what happened to January. I believe that the first half of the month was just simply recovering from the holidays. Because honestly no matter how much fun we cram into the holidays, it is just not the same with you gone. It doesn’t mean it is bad. It just means your absence is SO glaring in every family event, every vacation, every empty stocking, every cousin get together, every picture. So after pressing through all the events, January left me empty. Your siblings too. There have been an increased number of tears shed this past month…just because they miss you.

And this second year of missing you is hard. So hard. It is like every day is a reminder that you are gone. (Like we need one) But somehow instead of just getting through the 1st Christmas without you….now we start the process of every Christmas without you.

From here out…that is a hard conclusion to come to. And obviously it is not just Christmas. It’s Thanksgiving…It’s your birthday… It’s everyday things I wish you were still doing.

I honestly wish you were still disrupting every. Single. Part. Of our days.

I wish to have to search the trash for what you just threw away.

I wish I was chasing you away from potties and planning my days around your naptime.

Thankfully, I know that you are in the BEST place. The very best.

And I just imagine the joy you had here with us is infinitely more walking and exploring the streets of Heaven.

I can see the wonder in your eyes.

I can hear your laugh.

I can imagine the bear hugs you give Jesus, Grandpere, Meme, Granny, and all the others who know and love you. (I miss them so much)

I can see Jesus lifting you and spinning you around while you both laugh and laugh.

And I will hold on to all of those things until I get to experience them with you!

We love you so much Ezra. You birth stretched me into the leader of a 3 ring circus(😊), but your death has changed every part of me.

I know at the end I will be a better person because of this….it is just a sucky road to travel. (Sucky is appropriate…because it literally feels like life/energy is sucked out of you as you travel this road)

We miss you E. You are loved forever and every and every!

❤️,
Mommy

Friends, as I look in the very near future, I see the 2 year mark...so close. I don’t dwell on it. But please be on the look out for year 2 of Random Acts of Kindness! We had such an AMAZING response last year and it really was such an balm to our souls! We are looking forward to an bigger and better year 2! We will be passing along more Kindness and spreading more joy to anyone we can! And spreading awareness of SUDC! Please consider joining us again...it really is SO much fun.

We are thankful for each of you and your willingness to walk beside us. We are surrounded by God's best. ❤️❤️