Sunday, May 1, 2016

Two months you have been gone.

E baby. Two months you have been gone. TWO MONTHS. We can no longer trick ourselves into believing you are on a trip and will be back soon. You are on a trip but 60 years is a LONG time to wait to hug your neck. Really, really long. Pretty much everything and everyone reminds me of you. Friday I found one of your socks in the laundry. Really? We have emptied the laundry SO many times in the last few months and still your laundry is still coming. You were pretty central to how our family functioned (and you always did have the MOST laundry) Your needs were put first. That’s just what you do with a baby. You changed all of us forever. You taught Izzy to share and what it looks like to look out for someone. You taught Sadie how to be a little Mama (she so adored ALL the things baby) You taught Hannah to be selfless and increased responsibility (hard lessons but will serve her well forever). You taught Daddy & I how much our heart could expand and love more. And how to juggle...lots of juggling. You taught me how to persevere. How staying the course and not quitting are so important. So now we have to use all of these lessons going forward. Oh how we wish it was with you.
By now I’m sure you have seen YaiYa and been kissed by her (let’s be honest...she’s probably kissed you a million times already) Get used to it buddy. :) At her funeral yesterday, all I could think of was you. We sang an old song “This World Is Not My Home” and this is where I am. Ready to see your hope you are still waddle-running when I get’s my favorite! You are my “treasure”...Miss you SO much E. Love you most.

This world is not my home I'm just passing through
my treasures are laid up somewhere beyond the blue
the angels beckon me from Heaven's open door
and I can't feel at home in this world anymore

Not that you care Ezra, but we received the final autopsy findings this week. You are really a “unexplained death”. You really did go to sleep in your nap and wake up to Jesus. While there aren’t really any questions answered here, it is good to know. Dance with Jesus baby..we miss you.